Whoa-Whoa-Wee-Wow

Great news!  My Gastro doc says after my prednisone taper I am DONE with the ‘roids.  Finally!   

I had my Remicade infusion and saw my doc on Friday.  I definitely wasn’t looking forward to my infusion b/c I was worried I was going to get stuck with a needle like 5+ times.  Because I have been stuck so many times in the past two years my veins now harden and roll or they conveniently “magically” disappear when they know the needle is near.  It’s absolutely amazing what the subconscious-self can do.  I mean, mentally I don't think it’s a big deal, but apparently my subconscious-self does.  The damn thing has a mind of it’s own  and as a result, my veins disappear.  It’s freakin’ amazing.  Take Thursday for example.  I was looking at the veins in my arms and saw a few good potentials.  Conveniently enough, as I was sitting in the comfy La-Z-Boy Recliner in the Ambulatory Infusion Center Friday morning, they were nowhere to be seen.  Interesting. 

 Anyway, the nurse successfully poked a vein in my hand on the first try and the rest is history!  Thank goodness!  My Remicade aka Mouse Juice aka Jerry Juice (as Clarice calls it) was doubled this time around, so hopefully my body will stay in remission once off the 'roids.  So, if I look extra Jerry-ish it’s b/c I have double the mouse antibodies flowing through my veins.  And no, I’m not joking!  I’m a little fatigued and my body is a little out of whack right now, but I think its b/c the medicine is doing its thing.  Cleaning out the bad and healing the wounds.

 After my infusion I saw my Gastro Doc.  As I ever so excitedly announced above, after I taper down from the ‘roids this time I am done with the prednisone.  He is concerned for my bones as well as my eyes.  I guess if you’ve been on prednisone for quite a while it can start affecting your eyes.  I’m just glad that instead of me making my own decision to be off the ‘roids (we all know how that went), my Doc put his foot down and said no more.  It’s a relief.  Trust me.  So, this news is, as Borat would say, “Great Success!” 

 If for some reason I do start flaring again, my meds are getting switched and I’m getting another colonoscopy b/c he wants to check my mucosa and just reaffirm that there isn’t anything shady going on in there.  My doc spoke about possibly putting me on Humira or Methotrexate.  He also said he would write me a referral to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.  So, like anything else with this beast, we’ll just wait and see what my body decides to do.  Of course I want more than anything to stay in remission. 

 I flew back to AZ early this morning (THANX DAVID FOR TAKING ME TO THE AIRPORT AT 0430)!  Actually I want to give much love to David, my super awesome neighbor, who put up with my crazy paranoia and silly self.  I also want to thank Barb, who is not only one of my best friends, but my pseudo mama!  You guys are great!  I was only in VA for a few days, but the days were great and well spent.  Yes, even my long day at the hospital on Friday wasn't that bad because things got accomplished and a lot of questions were answered. 

 I’m not planning on going back to VA until mid September for my next treatment cycle, so I’m going to be livin’ it up in AZ, and doing a lot of riding.  Until next time my friends!

One Month and Counting...

Great Success!  I am absolutely ecstatic to announce that I have now been in remission for a little over a month!  And yes, I have been taking full advantage of the fact that I am feeling great.  I have ridden my bike so much this past month, it’s been absolutely awesome.  The cycling in Arizona has been phenomenal, and I can't wait to get back so I can ride some more!  I had to leave AZ on Tuesday to fly back to VA for my eight week “maintenance” Remicade Infusion and to see my Gastro doc.  If it was my choice I wouldn’t leave AZ, but I have to get my mouse juice and get some answers from my doc!  For those of you wondering why I couldn’t just get my infusion in AZ, it’s not that easy.  Remicade is extremely expensive and I can’t just switch Gastro docs.  As you know, my case is extremely complicated and I wouldn’t be getting the best care possible if I switched docs for six months.  So, I am going to fly back and forth to get my treatments until my hubby and I move in November (we still don’t know where we’re going yet but I’ll post as soon as I know).

 I am now on 20mg of prednisone (originally started on 40mg) and have been tapering down by 5mg a week.  As soon as I got on the ‘roids I went into remission, but can’t keep up this cycle.  I love the ‘roids (this time around) because it gave me my life back.  My last flare made me so miserable, I was desperate to take anything that worked.  Thanx to the ‘roids I can ride my bike, workout, not be a slave to the commode, not have to worry about having to cancel plans, etc etc.  I am grateful that my body (most of the time) responds to the prednisone, but am sad at the same time because in the past, 3-6 weeks after taperng, I usually relapse.  This has been the never-ending cycle for the past two years and it has gotten very, very old.  I feel great for the few months I’m on the ‘roids and then once off the ‘roids am back to square one.  I just want to be healthy without the use of prednisone and I DO NOT want the vicious cycle to repeat itself this time.  I’m being optimistic that this time will be different...

 I guess the most difficult aspect of being on predisone is that after I’ve taken it for about a month I have days that I look in the mirror and don’t recognize my own face.  It’s hard. About a week ago my sis commented on how my “now” face looked completely different from my wedding picture “then” face taken three years ago.  Well, unfortunately the 'roids will do that to ya.  They make your face puffy.  I feel like freakin marshmallow man and the damn ‘roids create a “moon face.”  After tapering off the ‘roids my face always returns to “normal,” but I don't exactly know what "normal" is for me anymore.  I’m on and off the ‘roids so much that I never have one set “normal” face.  People that have only known me for a few months prob would only recognize me with the moon face, while those who have known me the entire time I’ve had Crohn’s (and before) can tell when I’m off the ‘roids, and when I’m back on the ‘roids.  Arg!  I just want some form of stability.  To be consistent for once. I honestly believe it’s coming, I can feel it.  I’ve never felt as stable as I am now, so I hope things are once and for all working out.  I guess I’ll just have to wait and see…

 My mouse juice infusion is early Friday morning and I see my doc Friday afternoon.  Doc Smith (the most awesomest Gastro doc alive) is doubling the dosage of my Remicade in an attempt to keep my body in remission once I’m off the ‘roids.  I have a little under a month left on the ‘roids, so the true test will be once I’m tapered.  I’m keeping the faith, but get a little frustrated at times.  I know it’s all about patience.  Like I’ve said before, patience is definitely something this disease has taught me. 

As long as I can keep riding my bike, I don’t care what happens.  I want to get off the ‘roids, and I desperately want Remicade to work, but through it all I just want to continue the consistent riding that I’ve been fortunate enough to partake in the past month.  Riding has been so, SO therapeutic for me.  When I ride, I don’t have Crohn’s.  Riding is my time to think, to question, to believe that things will get better soon.  Riding gives me the self-confidence and self esteem that the predisone once took away (I had a hard time adjusting to the moon face and “puffy” body).  When I ride, I question my diagnosis.  Sure, I have been diagnosed with Crohn’s and based off of my two year struggle know that the disease is very active in my body.  I know it is a serious auto-immune illness, I get it.  But just because my body is attacking my digestive tract at this time in my life doesn’t mean I’m going to have it for the rest of my life.  I know science has proven otherwise, but ya know what, who says things can’t change.  Science has been wrong before.  Stranger and more mysterious things have happened.  I am refusing to accept the fact that I will have to struggle with this illness for the rest of my life.  Right now, yes, it’s an awful roller coaster.  But if I give up, and accept the fact that for the rest of my life (I’m 26) I’m going to be living with this, then that is exactly what will happen.  As René' Descartes once said,  “Cogito ergo sum” aka "I think, therefore I am." 

 Listen, I’m not in some fantasy world.  I fully understand the fact that I could possibly have Crohn’s for the rest of my life.  I get that.  And if that’s how it’s going to be, then so be it.  But I’m not going to just accept that fact that I’m going to have it for the rest of my life because medical science and docs tell me so.  I’m going to live it for myself, and keep the faith.  This, my friends, is why I ride.  Because riding gives me my life back.  Riding gives me hope.  Because when I ride, my Crohn’s disappears.  Every time I sweat, I’m killing my Crohn's.  I’m not allowing it to control me.  I’m fighting this beast, and have full confidence that I will come out ahead, even if it takes years.

 

 

He's BACK...

Marshmallow man, that is.  Like they say, "Never say never!"  Well, last Friday (oddly enough Friday the 13th) I was so completely miserable that I had to go back on prednisone.  Yes, yes, and yes I KNOW it was only two days after I had sworn off the 'roids forever.  I really wanted to stay off of prednisone for good, but I reached a point in my illness where there was no other option.  I talked with the docs and there is absolutely no way I can start Humira until the 18th of July, which is when my next Remicade infusion is due, b/c I guess it's bad to mix toxins (who woulda thought). =-)~

SO, predisone was my only option, and to be honest, I was desperate and glad to take the tiny white pills.  I mean, I had a permanent headache and had been overwhelmingly nauseous for the past two weeks.  I was miserable.  My quality of life was non-existent.  I was miserable just sitting on the couch.  It was miserable to eat, sleep, think, poo (duh)...  Words cannot describe how I felt.  Ill, sick, weak, miserable.  So, as you can imagine, it didn't take a whole lot of convincing from the docs to get me to take the 'roids again.  I was glad to take them.  My only fear was that they wouldn't work to their full potential because they didn't do a great job keeping me in remission during my last flare up.  

The docs wanted me to start on 40mg, which made me giggle, b/c I was sure that 40mg wouldn't cut it.   I mean, last time 60mg didn't cut it.  Well, I did as I was told.  I grabbed the ugly orange prednisone pill holder, opened the lid, and stared at the tiny white pills.  Lil' bastards.  Well, there comes a time in your life when you just say, "F*** it" and hope it works.  Well, I put the nasty tasting pills in my hands, thought to myself, "Here's lookin' at you kid" and freakin downed the two 20mg tablets.  What happened thirty minutes later was a complete surprise...

Thirty minutes after taking the 'roids I felt GREAT.  I had my life back.  I was actually able to go to dinner with my siblings and not feel like I was going to vomit (I went to dinner the night before with my sis and couldn't eat because of the nausea).  On Saturday morning I woke up feeling pretty well and went to a baseball game (see the Diamonbacks and Jesus post).  The rest of the week, should I say, has been great!

I have been so active this past week, it's like night and day from the previous two weeks.  On Monday I swam laps, rode my bike on Tuesday, went to (my first) spin class on Wednesday, and had my first personal training session today.  Yesterday I even had an epic poo.  It was seriously the best looking poo I've had in a LONG time.  I'm not going to go into details, but with Crohn's, one very rarely has a perfectly formed poo with no associated "collateral damage" aka blood.  

Tomorrow I taper down to 35mg and will taper 5mg each Friday thereafter until I am completely off the 'roids.  I'm taking full advantage of feeling great at this time, because with a chronic illness one never knows when their body is going to decide to revolt and throw them back into a deep, dark hole of miserableness and uncertainty.  I'm keeping the faith though.  This damn disease hasn't beaten me yet, and I guarantee you it never will.  

I'll keep y'all posted on my health status, but can assure you that I am on a roll.  I hired a personal trainer for the next three months to help me strengthen my bones so I can offset the side effects of the prednisone (osteoporosis is a big one).  Being that I already have osteopenia in my spine, I can't take any chances.  I also plan on riding, riding, riding, especially since I now feel GREAT.  I may be back on the steroids, but for now, they have given me my life back and I'm going to take full advantage of that.  

I find it kinda comical that I was swearing off prednisone for good, and then two days later desperately taking them (I was desperate to take anything that would make me feel better).  This just reflects the roller coaster of this disease, and that is why I've created this blog.  I've created it so you can take the journey with me, and I hope my experiences will somehow help you with your own life struggles.  Until next time my friends...

Diamondbacks and Jesus

Yesterday we went to an Arizona Diamondbacks game.  As we were approaching Chase Field we ran into the nice man pictured above, spreading the word of Jesus!  I was surprised yet happy at the same time.  He took the time to stand in front of the ballpark in scorching heat and spread

the word.  Anyway, I don't know his name, but if you read this, leave a comment!

As for the rest of the game...

I think this picture sums it all up!  We had a great time at the game and my sis and I had an even greater time harassing Clarice.  The last time I went to a Diamondbacks game (or baseball game for that matter) was during college, when they got beat by the Washington Nationals.  

Anyway, the Diamondbacks lost again last night, but who cares!  Clarice, my sis and I had a great time!  I guess we don't fall under the category of hard core fans...

We met some friendly people.  Definitely NOT the candy man-he was a grade A @sshole!  We did meet Mr. Lemonade man pictured below.  He had the personality all venders should have if they want to sell anything.  Candy man wasn't nearly as cool as this dude, no wonder his freakin' box was full and he couldn't sell anything!

My siblings and I enjoyed the game (though we didn't watch much of it).  This has been the first time in years we've all gotten together (alone) for some sort of event.  We are all so much alike it's RIDICULOUS!  For instance, my sis and I are both Chanel junkies and own a lot of the same Chanel stuff w/ out even realizing it.  And Clarice, good ole Clarice...well if he was a girl he would own Chanel stuff too.  He's got great style though, so that counts.  Anyway, I have a feeling this is the first of many games we'll attend (when we're all in the same place).  I love you guys!!!  I had a GREAT time guys, love ya!!

Love You, Love Bug

My husband is absolutely awesome!  Yesterday was our three year anniversary.  Though he is across the world he managed to call me and send me beautiful flowers!  Both were quite a treat, and definitely a nice surprise.

Family and friends know exactly why this was such a treat.  For the rest of ya, use your imagination, but it's not going on my blog!  

My Matt, if you get a chance to read my blog, know that I Love You and miss you very much!I  You are, after all, My Love Bug. =-)~

Farewell Marshmallow Man...

  

Prednisone.  I just can't do it anymore.  Look, I'm all about being positive.  I rarely let this disease get me down.  But, I'm going through a funk at the moment.  Not only have I been ridiculously nauseous these past two weeks, but I've also had a permanent headache.  Just when I think the damn thing is gone it pops up again, kinda like a permanent stalker.

My flares are starting to get worse, and I'm starting to get a little frustrated.  I tapered off the 'roids a few weeks ago.  Let me give you a little history on my relationship with prednisone.  It's always been a love/hate relationship.  When I was diagnosed two years ago I was given prednisone for the first time.  About 3-6 weeks after tapering, I started flaring again.  Thus began my dependency (and love/hate relationship) on prednisone.  Basically I would be on the 'roids for a little over four months, taper, and about 3-6 weeks later, relapse.  This has been the vicious cycle that has repeated itself for the past two years.  

The "love" part of my prednisone relationship (or should I say addiction) was that it (until recently) had always kicked me into remission the day after taking it.  It also kept me from flaring 3-6 weeks after tapering.  The "hate" part was the side effects.  I always felt like marshmallow man, turned into psycho lady, gained weight, looked like a chipmunk, lost hair, became nocturnal, etc etc.  Oh, and it also gave me osteopenia in my spine.  I didn't really mind the side effects so much (besides the osteopenia), b/c prednisone temporarily gave me my life back.  I could ride as much as I wanted, and pretty much do whatever I wanted without the fear of having  a flare-up.  It's nice being "normal" every once in awhile...but that leads to my next question, what exactly is "normal?"  I guess it varies from person to person.  Or so I'm learning.

Well, my love/hate relationship with prednisone is over.  My body has built up an immunity to it and prednisone is no longer able to fully keep my body in remission.  It took me almost three weeks being on a high dosage of steroids to kick me into full remission.  Three weeks before I tapered off the 'roids I started relapsing.  This has never happened to me.  But, in a way, I am relieved.  My relationship with prednisone is now over.  For good.  

I am currently on Remicade aka Mouse Juice, and it's not doing it's job.  The next step, according to my doc, is putting me on Humira.  Humira is very similiar to Remicade, the only difference is that Remicade is made of mouse antibodies (yes I have actual mouse flowing through me veins, not many people can say that)!  In contrast, Humira is made up of human antibodies, vice mouse antibodies.  Humira is given by injections whereas Remicade is given by infusion (thank goodness no more infusions...my veins can't take much more)!  

I don't want to leave AZ early to go back to VA for the sole fact that I'm flaring.  I've only been here two weeks!  I don't want to disrupt my visit with the 'rents and family because I'm having a flare.  I'm tired of having this disease get in the way of my life!  So, I am going to try some "mental toughness" (thanx Wayno!!) to fight this beast.  My doc would naturally want me to start prednisone again, because that has been the pattern for so long, but I am unwilling, especially since it doesn't quite work for me anymore.  And I've been on it for too long.  My body is tired, and it's not worth it.  I want to prove the impossible.  I want to show my doc (and myself) that I can fight this flare and kick myself into remission.  The hard part for me is being extra careful in everything I do.  That includes not pushing myself too hard on the bike (I tend to be a competitive meat head, so this should be interesting).  BUT I can be disciplined and not push it, especially if it helps me get better once and for all.  

When I get back to VA in July I will more than likely be put on Humira.  I really hope it works, but if not, I will go on Methotrexate.  If that doesn't work, off to the Mayo Clinic I go.  The Mayo Clinic in Minnesota specializes in Crohn's Disease when conventional medicine has failed. 

The positive side of all of this is that each flare teaches me something valuable about life.  Getting sick has shown me just how much I rely on my bike to keep some normalcy in my life.  I can have episodes before and after riding, but never have the urge to have an episode while on the bike.  Perhaps it's because riding has a strong healing affect on me.  Who knows.  All I know is that I want to get back to racing...as Randy Pausch once said, "An injured lion wants to know if he can still roar" (in my case lioness). =)  

It will be done, so stay tuned.  I'm not giving up this easily.  I can survive without "the juice."  Some medical experts may not think so, but I know so.  It's my body, and I will overcome.  I will give y'all updates, so wait and see.  And to you, awful Predisone, I'm glad you're now out of my life...for good.  No more marshmallow man.  Finally.

Home Sweet Home

Clarice and I made our trip from VA to AZ in 3.5 days!  It was definitely a blast, and our dumb and dumber personalities definitely came out!  Let's just say we do a great job feeding off of one another's ridiculousness!  I know I've been seriously slacking with my blog updates...I promise I won't go MIA again and will do a better job updating my blog bi-weekly!  It was crazy leading up to the trip (getting my house ready to sell, Remicade Infusion, paperwork, etc etc).   We left VA on May 26th and arrived in AZ May 29th.  The first day of our journey we stopped about 200 miles outside of Memphis, TN.  Below is a pic outside of the non-pet friendly Holiday Inn Express that we couldn't stay at b/c of my pup.  We ended up staying down the hill at a place called "Nanny Creek Inn." 

And NO I'm not as chipmunk like as this pic makes me look!  Oh, I've finally tapered off the 'roids by the way (thank goodness)!  My face is starting to return to normal (see the "Hello Chipmunk" post for a steroid like pic).  And of course, my body is starting to de-swell itself and get back to normal.  I always gain about 10-15 lbs on average when I'm on the 'roids.  People may roll their eyes when I say I'm 120 lbs when I'm on the 'roids, but remember, I'm five foot one!  Anyway, the pic above is a beautiful one (not me-the scenery...I'm not THAT stuck on myself)!  We don't have mountains or greenery like the above pic in the Hampton Roads area of VA. 

On the second day of our journey Clarice and I wanted to get through both Arkansas and Oklahoma and spend the night in Texas.  We ended up driving 14 hours on day 2 and landed pretty much on the Oklahoma-Texas border.  The below pic is of a dark, scary cloud we saw in Arkansas.  Let me just say this, the dark dark clouds appeared to be "brewing."  It was perhaps the scariest scene I have ever seen and I was convinced a tornado was on the way.  Out of nowhere rain started pouring down and visibility became non-existent.  I decided to slow down to 70 mph, which apparently wasn't slow enough because my V-dub hydroplaned for a brief moment.  SCARY!  Luckily we were able to drive out of the torrential rain storm after about five minutes!  The pic below does not accurately portray the scary dark brewing cloud, but it gives you a tiny image of the scariness we saw!

It took us a few hours to drive into Oklahoma once we drove out of the scary storm in Arkansas.  I can officially say that Oklahoma has the worst interstate out of the seven states we drove through (Virginia, West Virginia, Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, and Arizona).  I'm talking about HUGE potholes, cracks, uneven roads...there was a point where we were driving on the WRONG side of the interstate due to road construction! Crazy!  That night we stayed in a small town called Clinton.  My mom always said "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all," so I'm going to keep my mouth shut about that little town!  The hotel we stayed in definitely fit the definition of an infamous "roach motel."  Eek!  Definitely the trashiest place we've ever stayed...BUT it was pet friendly, so I can't complain too much.  

After our 14 hour drive the previous day Clarice and I were not interested in driving for more than eight hours, so we stayed about 60 miles from the New Mexico-Arizona border.  My dog decided to lick his rear at one point of the drive and I yelled my usual, "NO LICK" at him.  He decided to get pissed off, stand up, turn his back to us, and totally ignore us for about thirty minutes!  It was hilarious!  He definitely takes after me with his attitude.  Like they say,  "Pets are reflections of their owners."  

Later on that day we were looking for a hotel and found a nice pet friendly hotel, but all the pet friendly rooms were booked!  We were starving by that point so we decided to leave the dog in the car and eat (for you PETA folks-I ALWAYS leave my car (and A/C) running during the summer months if I leave my pup inside.  I simply lock the car door with my valet key).  Clarice and I ate, and when we returned, Caesar (my dog) had his paws crossed, looked at me, looked at my bro, and then looked away.  Attitude.  Again.  That's my pup!  It gave us a good laugh...again!  Fat, happy, and tired we drove off to find another pet friendly hotel.  The below pic is of a beautiful New Mexico sunset.  

That's one thing VA can't touch...a beautiful western sunset.  Yeah, yeah, I know the pic is crooked!  It adds personality ;)  

The day after, we made it to AZ!  It was a quick drive and we arrived safe and sound!  We met my mom for lunch and then unloaded the car.  Caesar was happy to run into the backyard, as he had been a little cramped for the majority of my trip.  I drive a GTI and it fit my bike, all my luggage, my juicers, cookbooks, etc etc in the car, as well as my dog.  He had plenty of room to lay down but didn't have the entire back of the car like he is used too.  

As far as my Crohn's is concerned, the trip wasn't too bad.  My lower abdominal swelled up each night due to the long driving, but I managed not to have any accidents or uncontrollable flare-ups, so I was definitely happy!  I had my  mouse juice infusion three days before traveling, so had a brief window to travel that would guarantee no major flare-ups.  That's just something you gotta think about when you have Crohn's.  No biggie though!  We made it safe and sound with no major incidents!    

Since I've been home I've been teeter-tottering a bit.  I've finally tapered off of the 'roids.  Unfortunately steroids don't have the same effect on me like they used too.  They used to kick me right into remisson and used to provide a 3-6 week blanket once I had fully tapered off.  Well, the good (and bad) news is that it took about three weeks on 60mg of prednisone to kick me into remission and unfortunately I started flaring about three weeks before fully tapering off the the 'roids.  I am viewing this as a blessing in disguise because I have suffered pretty much every side affect of prednisone.  Because I have built up an immunity to prednisone I (hopefully) won't have to take it anymore when I flare.  Why put my body through that when the medicine isn't nearly as effective as it used to be?

We'll see what my doc has in store for me next.  It is seven more weeks until my next infusion and I've been pooing blood, even had an accident.  NO I DO NOT feel sorry for myself, I am still riding my bike.  I am thankful every day I wake up, and thankful I can ride my bike, though I don't always feel well.  But, it is what it is.  And everyday I wake up is a good day.  Okay, enough mushiness!  All I have to say is, if you're perfectly healthy I don't want to hear you complain.  Be thankful for your health and get your @$$ out there and enjoy mother nature and the beauty she provides!  For me, it's by riding my bike, for you...it can be something as simple as taking a freakin' walk.  Just don't take your health or any day you're alive for granted!  'Nuff said! =-)~

Blue Ridge Extreme!

I have officially been in remission for a little over a month!  Life has returned to normal, and I've been able to do a lot of what I love best...riding my bike!  Cycling has been very therapeutic for me throughout my young adult life.  Most notably, cycling has helped me deal with my illness.  It has taken me nearly two years to adjust to life with Crohn's Disease.  The hardest adjustment is realizing that I have no control over the war going on in my gut.  I have finally learned to give up control, which was very difficult!  It has been hard to realize and accept the fact that at any given moment my disease can decide to act up, and I'm simply along for the ride.  Hello, it's my body, I should have control...right?  Wrong.  Not with Crohn's.  Nonetheless cycling has helped me stay mentally strong and keep the faith, and that's something the disease can't touch.  The latest flare was the hardest for me because I did everything right and still flared.  I did everything right with the exception of accepting my disease for what it is.  During my flare-up, it literally took all of my energy to ride 30 minutes.  This was a shock to me because I was easily able to ride 3 hours before flaring, but like I said, it is what it is.  All that mattered was that I was able to ride on my *good* days, though it wasn't much.  It wasn't much, but it was enough to clear my head and give me the strength to realize that no matter how bad it got, I would eventually get better.

 

The pic above was taken a few weeks ago, during a cycling trip to Williamsburg.  I am finally strong enough to climb, which is not only my strength, but my favorite aspect of cycling.  That is why I have decided to do the Blue Ridge Extreme Century this year.  It's a brutal course, with more than 11,000 feet of climbing with Cat 1 and Cat 2 climbs (eek)!   This ride will definitely show me what I'm made of, and more importantly prove the point that I refuse to let this damn disease control my life.  Hell, if I can get on the bike during a flare, this definitely should not be a problem (don't worry mom, I'll be fine)!  I have a lot of work to do, but riding my bike is what I love best, so I'll be ready.  I have decided to postpone participating in the GYGIG ride until next year, so stay tuned!  

Cycling Frenzy!!

I raced for the first time since my junior year in college this weekend.  It was a 12 mile Time Trial, and it was a lot of fun!  I came in seventh (out of eight)...but hey, at least I wasn't last!  And considering all I've gone through the past few months...Anyway, I wasn't expecting much, I just wanted to get out there and ride!  The TriPower women seriously kicked some butt!  Our fearless Team Captain Laura came in first in the Women's Cat 1,2,3 race and super awesome BJ came in first in the Women 40+ category!  All I can say is that our women kick some major A$$ and I'm so glad to be part of such an awesome team!  Laura is my hero.  She is super fast and shows that hard work and serious training pays off.  She has beaten pro's for goodness sakes!  It's only a matter of time before a pro team comes knocking down her door...YOU GO GIRL! 

 It was Barb's first time trial, and she rocked!  Barb and I warmed up together and seriously just had a great time!  Not only is she a great friend, but she keeps me from getting too worked up over the "small stuff."  She also makes everything so much fun (remember, she made my colonoscopy fun...enough said)!

                                                 

This is a pic of Barb and I warming up before our TT!

                                                 

Barb and I would like to thank Matt for all of his mechanical expertise (thanx for getting our bikes ready)!!

All and all it was a great weekend and it's now time for me to buckle down and start training for my GYGIG ride.  And no, I haven't built my fundraising page yet (I will this week)!  

Lastly, I was surfing the net and found a blast from the past.  I found a pic of myself sprinting to the finish line at the Navy Crit WAY back in the day ('04).  That was the first race I ever won.  I remember calling my mom and telling her I won.  She sounded shocked, but then offered to buy my a pair of Ksyriums...which she did.  You Rock Mom =)  Actually, her and my dad supported my habit throughout my college career.  I am very fortunate, as my college bike was a Colnago Dream...not many peeps can say that!  You guys rock!  

                                                  

Definitely a blast from the past!!

In Remission Thanx to My Mouse Juice

I am happy to say that after a seven and a half week relapse I have been in remission for an entire week!  I had my third Colonoscopy last Tuesday and my Remicade Infusion (aka mouse juice) the day after (Wednesday).  All I can say is, what better way to bring in the month of April then by getting your colon looked at?!  I have to thank my great friend Barb who actually made getting a colonoscopy fun!  She picked me up bright and early Tuesday morning and drove me to the hospital.  She waited for me while I was getting my colonoscopy, helped me walk when the colonoscopy was over (b/c I was still high from the anesthesia), took me out to lunch, and then took me to the mall!  What better way to spend the day and forget about the horrors of having a tube stuck up your rear?!  I have never enjoyed getting a colonoscopy, but Barb made it enjoyable.  I didn't dread getting my colonoscopy this time around, and I really have Barb to thank for that!  So, THANX BARB, you're the absolute best!  I've had three colonoscopy's in the past two and a half years, and this one by far was the most bearable!  

                                             

This is a pic of Barb and myself before my first ride after my awful flare...

My Remicade infusion went fine.  My hubby was there with me the entire time, so it definitely made the over four hour experience much better.  Usually it takes about two and a half to three hours for the infusion process, but the pharmacy was extra slow making my Remicade this time around.  This was my fifth infusion, and it does get easier each time.  

My first Remicade infusion was a very humbling, real experience.  I walked into the ambulatory infusion center and saw a woman who was completely bald.  She was standing at the desk, talking to her nurse, with her husband by her side.  I remember checking in and taking a seat, waiting to see what was next.  I was, by far, the youngest person there.  I got looks from the older patients, each of them wondering if I was a patient or a family member waiting for their loved one.  I briefly talked to an older woman who looked at me and said, "Are you waiting for somebody?"  I replied that I was there for treatment and her green eyes widened and in an alarmed yet soft voice said, "You're not here for chemo are you?!"  I replied that I was there for Remicade and she looked relieved but then went on to tell me that she too had Crohn's and had been on the mouse juice for years with great success and little complications.  My first sign of hope.  I was then called by my nurse and taken to my room.  The room had five oversized comfy lazy boy chairs.  My chair was next to a woman who was getting Chemo.  She too had no hair.  Her chest was covered up, but she was receiving her treatment via a port in her chest.  Her husband came in after her treatment and took her home.  I remember sitting there thanking God for all of my blessings.  I remember just being completely speechless and stunned.  These were real people...mother's, grandmother's, wives, sister's, etc.  They were going through probably one of the toughest times in their lives, and the rest of the world was just going about their daily routine as if this doesn't happen.  We can hear about Chemo and treatments and think, "Wow, how unfortunate."  But to actually see somebody going through that, though a complete stranger, had me speechless.  Sure, I have a chronic illness, but it could always be worse.  I will never forget my first Remicade Infusion.  It reminded me just how fragile life really is.  In our busy daily lives we often forget what is truly important in life.  We often get wrapped up in our careers, money, and materialistic "feel good" things.  Things that, when it all comes down to it, are meaningless and completely dispensable.  It often takes a life threatening illness or traumatic event for us to realize that God, family, friends, faith, and love is all that matters. 

                                                       

This is a pic of me in my big comfy lazy boy!!

I have my first race of the season Saturday, which is a 12 mile Time Trial.  I'm not sure how I'll do, but am glad to just be out there racing.  I've only been able to ride my bike three times since being in remission, so tomorrow is definitely going to be interesting!  I want to gage my fitness and see where I am compared to the other girls in my category.  I will keep you posted!  Next week I will start training for my Get Your Guts In Gear (GYGIG) ride, and I will definitely update my blog with training info/pics!  I still haven't built my fundraising web-page (yes I'm a slacker), but will definitely do it this week (seriously)!